I've been doing a lot of work in my Drawing I class, and I think that having an actual art teacher has taught me a lot of new tips and tricks. I didn't come into the class a novice, but just wanting to build on what I have, and I think that's gone well thus far. I've made a lot of strides.

My teacher gives me B's on everything, but I don't take that to heart. She grades very weirdly from any teacher I've faced. She doesn't take well to over-achieving, and that's my style. I've done a lot of work there that I really enjoyed doing and I think, despite the grade, looks good. The big dilemma is...should I post those projects? I never can find the line with what I should and should not submit to dA. I already broke my rule about submitting subpar doodles. lol. But I'm proud of those and my gallery consists of a lot of crap and even more digital experiments with photoshop.



As far as my personal life, for anyone that's interested...

I've officially decided not to be an art major. I'm a creature that lives most comfortably with ample funds around so I can head out on adventures, buy up half the bookstores, and just have fun with my life. There isn't enough money or stability in taking art as a career, and those things are essential to me. The decision was really tough to make, but I had to dig deep. I might have some natural talent, but art is extremely competitive, and I'm a person that can't live in that kind of chaos. It isn't for me.

Also, 95% of the time, I resent drawing for other people. I'm not sure what I've done wrong, but I attract the most uncomfortable people to work with or something. They make me redo projects at least five times and expect me to do all that and waste a week or two of my life for maybe... $2? Or I had a case where I designed a gum label for this man, and we agreed on a sum, he loved the label, and.... he took off. Never got my money at all, and he totally disappeared off the edge of the planet. So now I'm wary and I might just go with contracts if I do something for big amounts like that.

I know I'm not the best artist out there, and I sure as heck don't claim to be, but I feel like with the time and immense effort I put into what I produce, that I should be given a fair price. I'm a hard worker, I really throw myself into projects. Usually going above and beyond the call of duty. I don't think $10 for a full body CG that takes me well over 6 hours is a lot to ask. Is it? I see artists that understand anatomy far less than I do (and I'm far from perfect in that) selling their art for a lot more. And someone had the nerve to tell me that if I lowered my price people would buy.

Also, the amount of advertising I've done for commissions is to the point of annoying people, and I get nothing out of it. I tried being more casual about it, just saying "hey I'm open here's my info, etc" once in a while, it hasn't worked. I only get commissions from people that expect me to work for free, and I can never say no to them, no matter how much I resent it. Because the people that don't pay anything for my art are always the ones that expect the most out of me. If I get nothing in return for my work, I tend to resent it a lot. I put it off and when I do work, I don't end it in a good mood. I don't know, I guess I just like things to be fair. And life isn't fair, I know, so I make it that way. Any dealing with me will be a fair one, because that's one of my values. The world isn't fair, and therefore I see that something needs to be done about that.

As far as personally, things have been going smoothly, which is more than I could ask for. My relationships are well, I'm making new friends, discovering my strengths, and getting through college. I recently received a scholarship from the Nat'l Science Foundation, the first one I've ever entered. I'm not normally a lucky or unlucky person; I just never win anything. Somehow, the judges liked what I had to bring to the table, and that's made me pretty content with myself. I worked my butt off getting what I needed to turn in, it's nice to see a payoff. My new major is Physics, specializing in Astronomy. We'll see if I can handle that one. I really hope I can.